Monday

And there it was. Something that wasn't there for a very long time. That awkward feeling you get when you're due up to the plate, but all your swinging is nothing but air. And then you snapped and realized that it was never gonna happen anyway. So you just run, trying to get as much far away as possible. But something inside wants you to stay, just for a little while longer until the comrades shows up. But you don't stay. You use your logic rather than your human sense. And then just like that, it's over. Another incident, and yet another regret.

Thank you, for making my Monday morning, just magnificent.

Buayasumur.

Natalie Portman : More Than Meets The Eye

Do you know that feeling you get when you really admire someone? Not just because of their good looks and sweet physical appearance, but also because of their charismatic personality and unexpected decency for others. And, you are fully aware that this person you adore is not only very intelligent indeed, but also very talented and passionate in what she does. And even though you can only monitor her from as far as halfway around the world as a fan (which makes you don't know her at all), in one way or another there is this force of energy that always keeps you coming back to her. Even if you have a very shitty day, you could always remember that tender smile she makes, and you will realized that there are many other individuals and families out there, in this parallel world we live in, that have days or even life circumstances worse than yours. Because you know that this human being with the unavoidable smile isn't just making your day brighter, but it also makes the lives of  those people who was fortunate enough to remark one better than ever.

Most will say she's an Academy Award winning actress. Her die-hard fans will say that she's the celebrity who graduated from Harvard with a 4.0 GPA. While others will say she's one of the most famous animal rights activist/environmentalist. And not to forget she's also a humanitarian. But for me, Natalie Portman is all that and everything else you see in her. It's obvious she's very friendly (or even too friendly) for the pleasure of the eyes. And everybody knows she can act, and everybody also knows she's damn good in doing it. And also, graduating from Harvard with a 4.0 GPA will convince everybody that you're not just one of those pretty but dumb beauty queens. But, how many beautiful and talented actress out there have the heart and courage to go out and give back something to the world? I mean really give back by going out there in the middle of raw society. I once saw  a video in what Nat have done in reference to her humanitarian act with the people in Africa. She was just out there in the middle of the African dessert with a bunch of African kids. She was smiling and laughing. She was inspiring kids in Africa. An Academy Award Winning Actress who was also an alumni of Harvard with a 4.0 GPA was in the middle of nowhere Africa, under the sun spending a joyful afternoon with the children of Africa! Is this something you would see every day? It certainly isn't. To be honest,  I was truly amazed and overwhelmed by the video. And, to look at the expressions in Natalie's face when she smiled and inspired the kids out there, it just showed me how sincere she was in doing it. And that  showed me everything what she was made of.

If action speaks louder than words, I bet it speaks even louder than looks. Because, its funny how the things you do can appeal more to others than the way you look, or in some cases, the way you try to look. Sure, I was intrigued in Natalie Portman's stunning beauty at first (which male specimen doesn't?), and I could drown myself in staring at her face for hours, but after I found out everything she had done for herself and especially for others, man... it just blew me away. I'm lost for words.I can't say it enough that I am truly bemused by her. Because, how many actresses, divas, beauty queens, or supermodels out there chase their careers only by adding and contributing everything into their physical appearance? In other words, they care more in how the people or the camera capture them, than how they are supposed to treat and act to the ones in the other end of that camera.

In the end you can say that Natalie Portman is a human being just like us. But she's no regular human being that's for sure. No she's not. It is the things she has done and everything that she has accomplished that separates her from us. It is also what separates her from her fellow celebrities, and define her as an individual. To define Natalie Portman is something I would rather Natalie Portman do on her own. It is because her thoughts and actions speaks a better language than some writers words on an under exposed yet unattractive  blog. But based on the facts, what I can say is that Natalie Portman is a top notch actress, very attractive public figure, idol, celebrity icon, environmentalist, humanitarian, animal rights activist, and Harvard graduate. But she is so much more than all of those things. She is beautiful, outside and inside. Which one counts more? I'll let you be the judge of that. But there's one thing that we can all agree on, she is more than meets the eye.

Buayasumur.

Am I Human?

In the world I see today, I realized how the people in my generation tend to spend a lot of their time contemplating on the things they feel. Don't get me wrong here, I think this is perfectly natural and completely human, especially in these days. The only matter is that, sometimes we spend so much time worrying and concerning about our feelings which is triggered by our hopes; anxiety; and desire for life, but in the other hand we are just too afraid or do not know how to translate that into life. I think sometimes we are just to shit scared about what other people will think of who we really are. Therefore we became something we are not. While most of the times, we just don't really know how to express the things we really wanna say or do. There is this quote by a Sociologist named Peter Berger I like, which by the way I found it in a John Green speech (thanks, John!), the quote goes

  

“The difference between dogs and people is that dogs know how to be dogs.” -Peter Berger 

And speaking of quotations, there is this other quote I like relevant to the topic. It is by A.O. Scott, a journalist for The New York Times. This quote was said during a video review regarding to a certain movie I really adore, and have become on of my favorite movies all-time.

"It suggest that the reason we think so much, is that we feel so deeply." - A.O. Scott (on reviewing the 2004 masterpiece, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) 

But in the end, people will just tell me that, that's just life. People have feelings, and even though some denies that they're action aren't based on what they feel or think, I think I believe that some of that is true.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that, some people feel sorrow, some feel anguish; pain; dismal; grief; depressed; etc. While some experience happiness; warmth; joy; pleasure, in their life. I for one just wish that I could be alive and feel something. I guess, I have become comfortably numb.

"I

have become

comfortably numb."

Pink Floyd 

Buayasumur.

Resurrection II

"Only after disaster can we be resurrected."

Tyler Durden 

Buayasumur.

HumaNature

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods;
 There is a rapture on the lonely shore;
 There is society, where none intrudes,
 By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
 I love not man the less, but Nature more...

Lord Byron 

Now Playing :

Society - Eddie Vedder

Buayasumur.

Pictures of Who?

Sometimes... the music; the lyrics; the band, just knows too damn-well about you.

 

If only I'd thought of the right words
I could have held on to your heart
If only I'd thought of the right words
I wouldn't be breaking apart
All my pictures of you

(Pictures of You, The Cure)

Buayasumur.

Resurrection I

Are you still bored?

Buayasumur.

Away

I don't celebrate Christmas, but I do respect my friends and comrades who does. So in that case, I would like to wish them a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And, because it is Christmas, this is a song for everybody who feels like skating away in this time of year.

"I wish I had a river I could skate away on."

(Joni Mitchell)

Buayasumur.

The Motorcyle Diaries

I gotta hand it to the Manic Street Preachers, they damn sure know how to write songs. And there's a part of lyrics from the song "Motorcycle Emptiness" that I really like. It somehow represents and speak out most of the stuffs inside every time you ride behind the wheels of a motor bike.

Speaking of motor bikes, I always have a "thing" for motor bikes. And this always reminds me of another lyric from another song by another band. The lyrics from the song "Brothers on a Hotel Bed" by Ben Gibbard's Death Cab For Cutie has a part in it that have always managed to speak for me. Although the song doesn't focus on bikes or riding in particular, but the lyrics combined with the melody of the music and Gibbard's soothing voice is just, awesome.


So I guess if you just listen to the songs I just mentioned, I think you'll be able to understand of what I'm trying to say. And to that, I'm happy to say, that is all I can say for now. This goes out to everyone that feels the same way we feel and for everybody out there who are used to riding, alone. Peace, and have a nice life

  

"On the back of a motor bike,

with your arms outstretched trying to take flight.

Leaving everything behind."

(Death Cab For Cutie)

 

"Under neon loneliness,

motorcycle emptiness."

(Manic Street Preachers) 

 

Buayasumur.

Outsider

What is my purpose in life? Why am I here?
I don't feel anything. I can't feel anything.
I have no more desire for the glamor festivities.
I have no more interest in your money nor your promises about the future.
I don't live in the future.
Take all your money, all your stocks, all your bonds. All your for-crying-out-loud Tablets and Smartphones.
I just don't give a damn.
We are living in a materialistic shit hole, people.
It was brought to you by thugs and clowns masquerading as leaders and politicians.
After all, the world you live in is just one big fashion show after another.
Because, in the end all you have left is yourself. 
And, sometimes you just got to learn to let go.

I don't love anything. I don't love anyone.
Am I dead inside?


"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." -Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

The Mournful Cry : R.I.P. Armando Acosta

The underground music scene has loss another one of their great figures. After the the passing of Black Sabbath's former vocalist, Ronnie James Dio in May of this year, fans of heavy metal/hard rock and doom metal in particular now has to mourn for the demise of Armando Acosta, former and original drummer of the doom metal outfit, Saint Vitus. Armando Acosta passed away on Thanksgiving Day in the 25th of November last month. He was 58 years old. And might I say, what a career and lifespan he had.

Armando Acosta was there when Saint Vitus first formed in 1979 under the name Tyrant. It was Scott Reagers on vocals, Dave Chandler (guitars), Mark Adams (bass), and of course Armando Acosta himself on drums. After a while the band change their names to Saint Vitus, taking the name from the Black Sabbath song, "St. Vitus Dance". 

They were one of the first notable bands to have a really thick influence from the early Black Sabbath sound. And for me personally, their 1986 LP released on Gregg Ginn's SST records, 'Born Too Late' was one of the cornerstone for doom metal. The album have also influenced a lot of materials in the 'heavy' music world coming out today.

In my point of view, or should I say, in my point of listening, the sound of this LP can be described as pure early traditional doom metal. Acomodate by the heavy thick guitar riffs revolving in every corner of the album, the slow tempos given is as if you're entering the deepest darkest dungeon of an abandoned castle in the middle of nowhere, and of course on top of that there's the soaring raw vocals of Scott "Wino" Weinrich that roars so deeply giving a perfect nail in the coffin for the album's chemistry. After hearing all of this all together there is only one word to say, DOOOOOOOOOM!

For a record with that kind of caliber, and to a group not only with such greatness but also high respect in the scene, Armando Acosta was the backbone of it, by giving the band its heavy slow tempos in each and every one of their song with his impressive drum crushing beats. Tireless nights of touring, playing live shows and gigs in different venues around the globe, and the output of the bands numerous LP's, EP's, singles, compilation albums, etc have succesfully he acomplished so brilliantly with the band. 

The past several years health issues has been troubling him to play with the band. Nevertheless, Armando Acosta still managed to rock out with Saint Vitus by headlining the 2009 Roadburn Festival in Holland, and also a couple of European shows after that. But, in the same year Henry Vasquez replaced Armando for his place in the bands lineup.

It is with such great grief and sorrow inside for me to say farewell and so long for the passing of Armando Acosta. His work and lifetime with Saint Vitus has been and will always be a true inspiration for me as a fan and hopefully generations to come. 

R.I.P.

ARMANDO ACOSTA

(SEPTEMBER 23, 1952 - NOVEMBER 25, 2010)

***

Read the official press release in :

Blabbermouth

Roadburn

Currently listening :

Saint Vitus - Born Too Late

Buayasumur.